I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
