The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
