he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
