know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
