These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
