I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
