ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Your penis caused this!
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