She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
