Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
