Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
