dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
