Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
