She said her name was "party"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
