why didn't you poke me back
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
