I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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