Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
