okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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