When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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