I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
