i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
