You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
