his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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