So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize