Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
