U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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