i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
