For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
nutella sex= disaster
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
