does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
