I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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