I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
