Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She announced her abortion via fbk
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
