who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
