So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
