Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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