Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
