Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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