im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
