What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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