I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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