I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
