i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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