I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
