can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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