he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
