I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
