Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
