i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
