i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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