you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
