worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she told me i tasted like america
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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