she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize