Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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