Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
