im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize