dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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