they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got inside last night via doggy door
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
