I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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