I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
not ubering you a puppy
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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