My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
