tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
