It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
