Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
