oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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