school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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