Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
