508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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