I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When are your genitals available?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
