The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
