i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
