I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
did i just pee glitter
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
