haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
