you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
