So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
